I finished Christmas shopping today for my kids and thought I did pretty good. Since they love hunting around the house looking for their gifts, my mother-in-law keeps them at her house. I just brought the things I bought this morning over, and she told me “Wow, this is all you’re getting them? Why did you take-in the extra 3 kids if you would have to sacrifice things for your real children?” I thought I did good considering we have 8 children this year instead of 5. So the question:
Is she right? Or is she just trying to make me feel bad?
13 year old:
silver Tiffany bracelet
black Uggs
Coach purse
Wii Fit
picture frames for room
10 year old:
digital camera
brown Uggs
new bike
DDR Hottest Party 2 (for Wii)
scrapbooking kit
7 yscrap-booking for room (the only reason she’s getting it is because my husband has a bunch of points from work and used it to get a new tv FREE)
Disney’s Hannah Montana DVD Game
Hannah Montana Malibu Beach House
Hannah Montana Wii Game
Wild Planet Hyper Dash Game
6 year old:
American Girl Doll
karoke machine
Wild Plkaraokeyper Jump Game
Apples to Apples Kids
Learning Journey Desktop PC
5 year old:
Power Wheels Barbie Jammin’ Jeep
LeapFrog Leapster Learning System
LeapFrog Leapster Game: Dora the Explorer -Wildlife Rescue
Moon Sand Treasure Kingdom
Totally Me! Ultimate Jewelry Workshop
3 year old:
Disney Princess 12″ Girl’s Bicycle
FisherPrice Kid Tough Digital Camera
Fish Price Kid Tough DVD Player (got it 40% off this morning!)
Cranium Hullabaloo
Noddleboro Picnic Basket Manners Game
3 year old:
Girl’s Grow N’ Go Bicycle
FisherPrice Kid Tough Digital Camera
FP3 Player
Twister Hopscotch
The Cat in the Hat I Can Do That!
16 month old:
Eco-Friendly Rocking Caterpillar Ride-On Plush Rocker
Vtech V.Smile Baby Infant Development System
Vtech Roll and Learn Driver
FisherPrice Roll-a-Rounds Listen-Up-Rounds
Animal Friends Stacking Rings (made by TAGGIES)
I tried my best. Each child on average gets about $400 worth of toys. Yes, it would have been more if we didn't take 3 extra children in, but should how much we get on Christmas make a difference bettween leaving them in foster homes or letting them live with us?
Oh and another one was that she is only buying for her "real" grandchildren, meaning she's not getting gifts for the 3 childre I recently adopted. So now I'm going to have to buy them something and bring it over there to pretend it's from her.
Yes, we have to keep everything fair. I tried to sick to 5 items that totaled up to about $400.
We actually adopted them when their mother (my friend) passed away from cancer.
I’m very impressed with the list of what you got for all of the kids. It looks as if you spent a lot of time and thought in selecting what you thought that they would really like and cherish.
As for the Mother-in-Law: I would have your husband discuss the situation with her, and mention to her that it is not fair for her to single out a particular group to give gifts to, or not. The older kids (5 and up) are old enough to realize who is getting gifts, and WHY the others are being excluded. Therefore, my advice (all $.02 of it), is that either EVERYONE has a package to open (with some sort of gift inside, price not important), or NOBODY has a gift.
Don’t pretend, and get something, hauling it over there. Just inform her that you AND HER SON have made the decision to adopt / take in / foster these children, and BOTH of you have decided to love them as your own. But your husband needs to have this conversation with her, and present this as a JOINT decision.
And if she persists, your husband can always inform her that until she can accept ALL of your children, NONE of them will be visiting.
Good Luck.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
THAT’S PERFECT! I don’t what youf MIL problem is but I think you did really well!
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I think she is trying to make you feel bad. These kids are incredibly lucky!!
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
What!? Your MIL must $hit money & spoilt her own kids rotten when they were growing up.. What your getting for one of your six kids is probably less than I’d get for my one daughter.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Oh my god!!
Thats way more stuff than I'm getting for my son - we just do the one present! What does she think they SHOULD be getting?!??!!!
Sometimes, mother in laws say things without thinking - sometimes they say things just to be a bitch. She is trying to express how she feels about you "taking in" extra mouths.
I say, good on you, and if MIL is annoying you, stay out of her way for a while. I'm sure she'll buy the "real" children extra plastic things to make up for you teaching them about the beauty of sharing, and love, and charity.
Good Luck to you
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
these are incredibly lucky kids!! Tell your MIL to get stuffed
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
you did great !
MIL are here just to make our lives bad ! its there job !
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
You did fine. Tell your MIL that all the children are your children. Tell her that you’d rather your children learn how to share and care for others than simply getting everything they possibly can. That’s not the true meaning of the season.
You can also tell her, with a cheery smile, “Well, feel free to supplement with more presents for ALL of them if you like!”
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
That perfect. Getting kids a lot of things for Christmas would only lose interest fast or anything. And some the stuff you got them are expensive. I went over board last year on my two boys and notice they didn’t play with the half the stuff they got. And I think your MIL is wrong. Also not getting anything for those three kids you adopted. Did you talk to your husband since his mother. We got to teach these kids want christmas is all about.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I think your MIL is just mad because you are a great person that would adopt your friends three girls. I wish I had enough money to spend $400 on my three girls. Your 8 girls are extremely lucky to get such great presents for Christmas and they have a great mom like you.
You could just keep one thing for each of the three girls that you adopted out to take for them when you go to your MIL’s house.
Good luck
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♥ mom to three little girls Aaliyah, Harli and Jordyn♥
November 28th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Someone needs to tell your mother in law about all the kids who won't be getting ANYTHING for Christmas. So, be thankful they get something.
In my opinion, you did good…..
I like how you seem to have got all the kids the same amount of things.
Edit: "real" grand children.. That's horrible. I have 1 niece and 3 nephews who aren't my "real family", but I always treat them the same.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
dont worry about what a crabby old lady says if your family is happy christmas morning thats all that counts, anyway christmas isnt about the gifts
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
you did fine ,your MIL is obviously having a problem with the fact that you took on more children and feels her “real “grand kids are missing out ,sounds to me thay are not ..and Im sure you have talked to your kids about adopting the others so the only one with the problem seems to be MIL …I suggest you ask your husband to tell his mother not to be negative around the kids and leave it at that …dont listen to the old witch …
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I’m very impressed with the list of what you got for all of the kids. It looks as if you spent a lot of time and thought in selecting what you thought that they would really like and cherish.
As for the Mother-in-Law: I would have your husband discuss the situation with her, and mention to her that it is not fair for her to single out a particular group to give gifts to, or not. The older kids (5 and up) are old enough to realize who is getting gifts, and WHY the others are being excluded. Therefore, my advice (all $.02 of it), is that either EVERYONE has a package to open (with some sort of gift inside, price not important), or NOBODY has a gift.
Don’t pretend, and get something, hauling it over there. Just inform her that you AND HER SON have made the decision to adopt / take in / foster these children, and BOTH of you have decided to love them as your own. But your husband needs to have this conversation with her, and present this as a JOINT decision.
And if she persists, your husband can always inform her that until she can accept ALL of your children, NONE of them will be visiting.
Good Luck.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Wow, what a b*tch.
Ignore her.
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Wow! That’s way more than I’m getting. All I’m getting is a trip to Texas for a week
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November 28th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
$400 per child??? I think you are way overdoing it frankly. Holy cow. I pray you aren’t going into debt with all that cause it’s not worth it.
As for your mother-in-law, you are the parent, not her. She can stuff it.
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November 28th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Your mother in law is being a witch with a capital B. You're doing fantastic, and I'm sure all your girls will love their presents. Don't listen to your MIL, and if she insists on excluding your adopted kids, just tell her not to send anything at all and that none of you will be visiting - that's disgusting that she'd do that. Just disgusting.
Christmas isn't about how much each one gets, its about having love and joy in the home - it sounds like you've got that down. Don't let your MIL ruin that and stress you out.
You're a very special family for taking in your friends' kids. I wish all the best to you and your kids!
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November 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
You’ve already spent more money per child than my parents ever spent on all of x-mas for all of us. We were poor and things like coach bags and tiffany bracelets were fairy tales to us. $400 is plenty of stuff for little kid’s christmases…
You did more than fine - I would have cried to have so much stuff on x-mas :p Ignore her, she’s just being a jerk… as for the “real grandchildren comments” that’s just mean.. more people should be like you and take in kids who need a home! I know they’re happier living in a house with a loving mom than they would be in foster care… Tell her to screw off.
You’re doing fine. More people should be as good as you…maybe then kids would know x-mas is about giving and not about the stuff they get.
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November 28th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I personally think you are already spending a lot on each child. You must be well off - and hopefully not going into debt over it. I’m just saying, you could take a toy or two off each list and that should be enough too!
Maybe she’s worried in general that your kids aren’t getting as much now that youve taken on 3 more.. although I guess if that was a valid concern she’d be more concerned about your time and attention, not toys.
Ignore her - and if she wasnt getting my adopted kids gifts, I wouldnt even go there. Youre doing what you can do, and I think its a lot. How spoiled should kids today be??
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